Holy hell in a handbasket.


I feel great. I've been feeling good for the past few days, I have no idea why. My life is equal to that of a dead oppossum's gangrenous AIDS-infested vulva, but I still feel like a bazillion sand dollars, and then some. I don't know if it was just leaving Sacramento that lifted my spirits all of a sudden, but I can't think of any other reason. Until I think of a reason, here's one of those dumbass quiz things that are time-consuming as hell but somehow satisfying in a way that I can't coherently explain without sounding like I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about which is more than likely true since this is one big jumbled run on sentence but what the fuck does this look like, a grammar quiz? I don't want to take a quiz like that, so here's this one you dickbutts.

I stole this from hella long ago. I'm just doing it now lolz.

slogan generator here: [link]

Oh the humanity.


1. What do you say to yourself every morning?
Stop! This Johnny isn't ready yet!

2. What do you want other people to say about you?
There's always room for Johnny.

3. Someone asked you out, your answer is...
The best part of waking up is Johnny in your cup.

4. How would you answer a booty call?
All you add is Johnny.

5. How would you introduce yourself to someone you really like?
Just for the taste of Johnny.


6. To someone you dislike?
Leggo my Johnny!


7. You're in a conversation and you suddenly feel the need to pee, how would you excuse yourself?
You press the Johnny, we do the rest.

8. Your parents ask you why you got home late, you say...
If only everything in life were as reliable as Johnny.

9. You're failing a subject, you say...
the cookie that thinks it's a Johnny.


10. The love of your life asks you to marry him/her, what do you say?
Johnny just feels great.


11. Your bf/gf is breaking up with you, you tell him/her...
It's the Johnny fizz that does the bizz...

12. Someone told you you're a jerk, you tell them...
He who thinks Johnny, drinks Johnny.

13. What are the best words to describe you?
Come to Johnny, and let's get it done.

14. If you're going to have a movie about your life, the title is...
Oh hugry? Oh Johnny.

15. Your last words before you die...
Nothing comes between me and my Johnny.

16. Your message to a special someone...
You like Johnny. Johnny likes you.

17. Title of this post will be...
Bridge that gap with Johnny.